The Diva's Toolbox

Photo:  isabellang.blogspot.com

Just as a master carpenter must be equipped with specific tools to build a house, so does The Bariatric Diva need her own toolbox (pink and shabby, of course), filled with ideas, options, healthy non-food coping strategies, concrete examples of loving herself first, and tips for making herself feel and look good.  The Diva likes to share, so I invite my fellow divas to get their own toolbox.

Let's crack this baby open and start filling it up with good stuff, shall we?

Tool 1:  Accountability to Yourself
You alone are responsible for the weight loss and maintenance you achieve.  Recognize that the choices you yourself make determine the level of success you can expect. 

Celebrate when you've done well and pat yourself on the back.  (Every baby step needs to be applauded.)  When you slip (as we are all known to do), acknowledge the backslide, own it, forgive yourself, and get right back in the saddle immediately.

Takeaway:  Embrace responsibility for all of the choices you make in your weight loss and maintenance journey.

(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson.  All Rights Reserved.

Tool 2: Accountability to Food



Photo:  isabellang.blogspot.com

To achieve and maintain lifelong weight loss, we need to admit that food is our drug of choice, we eat when we don't feel physical hunger, and we sometimes feel out of control when we eat.



Aren't they purty? [Heavy sigh.]

We all have our trigger foods.  Mine are Oreos and chocolate-covered pretzels.  I know that if I see or smell them anywhere, there's no stopping me.  And, unlike other people, I can't limit myself to just one or two.  No, no.  The concept of portion control goes out of the window, I get "in the zone," start snarfing down those puppies and generally feel powerless over what and how much I'm eating.  The feeding frenzy winds down with a big swig of Guilt.  I own this.  Not proud of it, but I own it.

The solution I've found to avoiding this is simply not to bring triggers into the house.  Should I find myself somewhere that these foods are being served, I have to physically remove myself and go in another room or outside.  Oh, the chocolatey deliciousness still calls my name, of course, but I hold up my shield and fill up on veggies and fruit. 

Today is a better day!

Sometimes I am victorious; other times, the pretzels win.  If I slip, I take responsibility, forgive myself, put it behind and move on.  We all can start fresh every day.

Being accountable to food can also be achieved by journaling everything you put in your mouth every day.  Weight Watchers offers an online journal that calculates the values of all foods and keeps track of how many points I've taken in.  One could also write down in an actual journal what's eaten at each meal and between.  It would be very helpful, also, to document how you feel when eating.  The mind-gut connection is a powerful one.

Believe it or not, we really are in control.

The concept of accountability to food is not meant to beat yourself up or make you feel like a failure.  We are human and we are not perfect.  Instead, it's a tool to make us aware, responsible, and take control over the foods we eat, how much we take in, and recognize those triggers that can easily pull us off track.

Takeaway:  Recognize your trigger foods and take action to stay away from them.  You alone get to decide how to feed your body, and mindful choices will keep you on your program most of the time.




(c) Robyn Posson 2012. all Rights Reserved.

Tool 3: Commitment to Exercise



Photo:  isabellang.blogspot.com

Let me put this right out there...since I was born with the sloth gene, I'm not a big fan of structured exercise.  It goes against every cell in my body that's crying, "NO!!!  I want to sleep in!  I want to veg out on this couch!  I want to watch hours and hours of TV as I finish off a pint of Ben and Jerry's!"  

But I schlep my ass out of bed at 4:30am about 4 times a week, and I do cardio and strength training for about an hour each time.  I'll admit that I always feel better and have more energy when a workout is done, but no matter how many times I'm really glad and proud that I went, every morning I have to make a decision whether to tap the snooze button or throw my legs over the edge of the bed. 

womensdish.com
(Note: I do not look like this.)

I do, however, love the benefits from movin' and groovin'.  My tush is firming up nicely, thank-you-very-much.  I'm no longer winded when I climb the stairs.  I can jog for an hour, which got me in shape to run my first 5K ever!  I rock! 

As human beings, we are more likely to make long-lasting changes when we can identify the concrete rewards.  It helps to write them down and refer to them when we need a fire lit under us.  Here are my motivations: 

• Obesity runs rampant in my family.  I want to make damn sure I don't go down that road again. 
• My three grandkids.  Want to be around to attend their college graduations and weddings, and cherish being a great-grandma.
• My spouse.  We found each other later in our lives, and I want to enjoy it with him for as long as humanly possible.
• On Weight Watchers, every activity counts (even housework and raking the yard).  For example, gardening for an hour earns me 8 extra points; I could spend them on a small ice cream sundae if I wanted to.  Activity points are like depositing money in the bank; you can use them if you want, but if you leave them in the account, the weight loss is quicker.  That's a great motivator. 
• I'm motivated by and accountable to my BFF and gym buddy, Cindy.  We agreed at the get-go to offer support and really kick each other in the ass when one of us starts to slip.  (My hiney gets kicked more than hers.) 
• I like when my clothes fit better.

stayingfitafter60.com

There are more motivations, but for the sake of brevity, let's just say I want to be around for a very, very long time, living in a healthy body.  If that means I need to keep moving, so be it.

One must be committed to making this lifelong change.  We can't expect to get to a healthy weight without having exercise and activities in the mix.  You don't have to start big. Hell, you don't even have to love it.   Just start doing something that will get your tush off of the couch.

  

powertolife.com

Takeaway:  The weight loss and maintenance journey includes a regular regime of exercise and activities.  Find something you enjoy that will get you moving! 

(c) 2012 Robyn M. King.  All Rights Reserved.

Tool 4: Accountability to Relationships



Photo:  isabellang.blogspot.com

Good relationships are built on mutual trust, respect, care, kindness and support.  In other words, the "Golden Rule" in action.  However, most difficulties between people stem from the same problem:  One person trying to change another.

There's a saying that I use all the time; one you will hear over and over again in this blog.  "The only person you can control is yourself."

You're the boss of you only.

So at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this concept is one we all need to hear repeatedly, wrap our minds around, and behave accordingly. 

We need to be accountable to what we contribute to relationships.  What does this mean?  You are the boss of you, and you only.  You're responsible for how you treat others.  You get to decide how you will be treated--with kindness, respect, and compassion. 

Unfortunately, there are times when we have to teach the people around us how.  If you don't let the other person know immediately you will not tolerate being disrespected, abused, etc., he/she will assume you approve of that kind of treatment, and the unwanted behaviors will continue.  It's human nature to do so. 

Love me some Tina Fey!

See, we divas get to set the rules about what we feel is appropriate behavior.  Decide what your "deal makers and deal breakers" are, and stick to them.  In fact, writing down the rules will remind you, should you start to waver.  Remember that your partner/parent/friend/co-worker/stranger on the street must follow all of the rules.  Every.day.

For example, say this is your list of requirements of how you expect to be treated by other people:
1.  No name calling
2.  No abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, financial, etc.)
3.  No yelling, screaming or threats
4.  Respect for you and your belongings
5.  Disagreements will be handled calmly, both parties will be heard and a mutual compromise will be established.

You're with a person whom you love very much.  S/he consistently follows rules 2 through 5, but calls you names that embarrass or make you sad or angry. 

According to your list, that's a deal breaker.  Confront the unwanted behavior and ask him/her to stop.  If s/he apologizes and stops calling you names, you got what you asked for. 

However, if the behavior doesn't change with specific instructions from you, then s/he clearly doesn't value or respect you and your requirements.  You are then faced with the decision of whether the relationship is worth investing any more of your precious time and energy.  Which.is.damn.hard. (More on this later.)

csswashtenaw.org

Accountability to your relationships is one more tool to get you to a healthier, happier life.  You will feel more in control of how you allow others to behave in their interactions with you.  And feeling in charge of this will help you to feel the same in other areas of your life.







QUESTION:  Are you being treated the way you deserve? What are your rules?  


(c) Robyn M. Posson 2012. All Rights Reserved.

"When you want it the most, there's no easy way out..."



muhealth.org


Several years ago, I had a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass.  Surgery was a last-ditch effort to provide me a tool that, if used properly, would result in lifetime weight control.   July 11, 2003 (my surgery date) was one of the most important days of my life.  It marked the beginning of a kind of rebirth and renewed hope that I would finally live in a healthy body.  One year later, the results were better than I had dreamed of.

That said, bariatric surgery is not for everyone.  Really.  It is not a magic bullet, nor is it the "easy way out."   Contrary to naysayers, being a WLS (weight loss surgery) patient takes a considerable amount of personal effort, diligence and commitment to "work the program" for the rest of one's life.  It's work.  Damn hard work.  And it often fails.

fredbowen.com

It's important to know that WLS is a tool and only a tool.  Just as you would use a hammer to drive in a nail, the smaller pouch needs to be used properly in order to get the job done.  Eat 6 small meals a day and no grazing.   Protein, protein, protein (eat it first).  64 ounces of water every day.  Multivitamin, calcium citrate, and B-12.  No sugar, but a substitute like Splenda is allowed.  No processed food.  No simple carbs; complex carbs like fresh or frozen fruit and veggies are required.  No alcohol.  At least 30 minutes of exercise daily.  Stop eating when full.  Meet with nutritionist or dietician every six months.  Blood work every six months.  Bone scan once a year.


If one doesn't follow this program at least 95% of the time (after all, we are human), old eating habits will creep back in and weight gain is inevitable.  It's possible for someone with a stomach pouch the size of a golf ball to gain all of their weight back, and then some.  I've seen it happen to a lot of people, and my heart goes out to them because that could certainly be me.

There's a saying in the WLS community that goes, "The surgeon operated on your gut, not on your brain."  Successful, lifetime weight loss maintenance happens only when one's mind, behaviors and emotions are reprogrammed for healthy self-esteem, knowing one deserves a healthy body and life, and where food is used only for nourishing the body.  Getting this right is a lifelong process, too.  I work at it every.single.day, sometimes a minute at a time.



(A gold star for anyone who can name the song that the quote in the title is from!)

QUESTION:  Have you had WLS or are you considering it?

(c) Robyn M. Posson 2012.  All Rights Reserved.

I have a plan.

The worst four-letter word.

Like millions of us, I've tried every diet and weight loss plan you can imagine: SlimFast, Dexatrim, Ayds, cabbage soup, no carbs, grapefruit diet, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem.  For me, none of them worked--well, not long-term anyway.  Any "diet" where you have to drink, swallow or sprinkle chemicals to feel full, when an entire food group is prohibited and you're only allowed to eat certain foods day-in-day-out gets old really fast.  What's worse, these diets most certainly do not teach us portion control, how to stop when we're satiated, and how to eat real food in a balanced and healthy way. 

Since I was hell-bent on being skinny, and didn't want to exercise or give up my favorite foods, I bounced from diet to diet.  That resulted in "dieting" my way up to 227 pounds.  Realizing that I needed something to give me some structure and boundaries with food, I had a gastric bypass.  Post-surgery, I still was sometimes out of control with food, and nine years later, those feeding-frenzy episodes resulted in a 30 pound regain.  No surprise.



toonclips.com

On Valentine's Day this year, I split my pants at work.  How could that happen?  I was lying to myself, and I refused to buy bigger clothes.  So my body got stuffed into size 10's.  I was mortified.  I feigned an upset stomach and went home.  Couldn't tell FH because I was so ashamed.  Cried myself to sleep because I had hit bottom again, and knew things had to change.  The next day,  I joined Weight Watchers. 

I can eat anything I want to, as long as I stay within my points limit.  I've learned how to measure everything and now I know what a healthy portion looks like.  I track everything I put in my mouth.  I go to weekly meetings and weigh-in, which are of great help.  I make a new goal every week, celebrate when I reach or surpass it, and am learning how to forgive myself when I don't. 

drkehres.com

The tough part for me is I'm still learning how to integrate this gargantuan change in my life.  I'm taking it a day at a time.  I'm telling myself I'm in it for the long-haul, but that concept is not something with which I've had success.  In the past, I've given up when I got tired of exercising, or when living with the changes just got too hard for me to sustain.  I am hopeful that this plan is exactly what I need.  

The structure and flexibility of the plan are big pluses for me.  I can control what I eat.  Some days are better than others.  But today, it's working.  I am human, and forgive myself when I fall back on old, unhealthy habits...and start anew again.

To date, I have lost 14 pounds.  Only 16 more to reach my goal.  Yay me!

QUESTION:  Have you found an eating plan that is successful?  What works for you?  What doesn't?

(c) Robyn M. Posson 2012.  All Rights Reserved.