Sabotage + Subterfuge = Sabotuge

Yup, you read that correctly.  Sabotuge  ("sab-o-tooj").  I spent the better part of this weekend doing everything I could to undermine and reverse all of the good work I've done so far with my weight loss:

• Eating whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted

(It wasn't this bad.  But it was bad enough.)

• Eating in secret

(I'd like to one day cancel my membership permanently.)

• Hiding goodies I wanted all to myself

Keeping my secret stash in the sock drawer?  Geez, I'd never think to look THERE.

• Not journaling what I ate

(Exactly why I didn't write anything down.  Didn't want to know the reality.)

• No formal exercise and limited activity

(Yup...this pretty much says it all.)

• Allowing myself to listen to (and believe) the self-loathing voice in my head

• Comparing myself to others

(Teddy knew what he was talkin' about.)

• Having an "F"-it  attitude

These are the ingredients for a downward spiral of out of control eating.  What was the trigger?  Who freakin' knows.  All I know is it had a hold of me.

I fell down that slippery slope and wallowed in that hollow, pitiful place.  It's what I know best.  I chalk it up to being imperfect, being human, being a compulsive overeater, wishing I was "normal" and didn't have such a sucky relationship with food.  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, and wanted to crawl under a bag.

Today, though, I'm doing better.  I went to the gym this morning and ran for 75 minutes.  Had a good breakfast, balancing protein, simple carbs and healthy fat.  Today's a new day, and I need to be back in the saddle.  I'm climbing up on that horsey again.  

So that's where I'm at.  I dare not get on the scale to see what damage I've done; I'll wait until Friday for weigh-in.  I most likely can turn it around by then.  Hmmm...just checked my journal; I have only 5 points left until bedtime.  Yikes.  Guess I'm going to be eating a crap-load of veggies and fruit for dinner.

QUESTION:  What kind of behaviors do you use to sabotuge yourself?  And what do you do to snap out of it?

All images courtesy of Google Images unless otherwise noted.

(c) Robyn M. Posson 2012