Deep, Dark, Dirty Secrets

Ooh...they look SO good...

I'm ashamed to admit that I've been a secretive eater my whole life, hoarding food so that no one else would eat it.  I remember hiding Oreos from my children; I didn't want to share them and wanted to savor their chocolatey, creamy goodness all by myself after they had gone to bed. 

More recently, there have been times when I have anxiously waited for my FH (Future Husband) to get in the shower, go to bed before me, mow the lawn, or run out for some errands just so that I could eat snacks that I didn't want him to eat, too.   

Sometimes, however, when I'm feeling "more in control" of eating, I justify hiding my food by telling myself that the snacks are special because they're allowed on Weight Watchers, and I need to keep them separate from FH's snacks in the pantry to stave off temptation. 

After the momentary satisfaction of actually believing this bunk, my mind immediately floods with Guilt (It's so overarching sometimes that it deserves a capital letter).



Liar, liar, panties on fire.



It's amazing (and shameful) the lies I've told to myself and others.

 

 

Tonight I plan to come clean to my FH.  He's always been supportive of everything, and suspect this occasion will be no different.  I will tell him all about the hoarding, hiding and sneaking food and my desire to change this behavior, and will give him examples of how he can support me. 

It will be difficult to say these things that I've NEVER said out loud, but it's a crucial step I need to make toward healthier thinking and behaviors around food.  It will put me back on the path of living in the truth.

QUESTION:  What secrets do you keep about food?

(c) Robyn Posson 2012